Elisabeth Conklin
January 4, [1862] |
 |
It is late in the evening the 4th day of January that I have seated myself to pen you a few lines and it seems to me more like writing to the dead than to the liveing. I have looked long and anxiously for a letter from you but have looked in vain I had came to the conclusion that you had moved from where you was and did not wish to let even me know your address but I became so uneasy that I ventured to try one more pull in hopes of once more receiving an answer from you. and if you knew how much you have been on my mind and how badly I want to see you I think you could not refuse me a letter once every month at least. I wanted to visit you last fall but Willy's sickness prevented my doing so. and now I have heart and mind on seeing you next Fall if we should both live so long but life is very uncertain and we may one or both be in our graves before that time may roll around but I live in hopes of once more seeing and enjoying your society Harriet has bee almost like a sister to me since Our acquaintance but you know I still think of my Sisters that I spent so many happy days of my childhood with although we had but few clothes and coarse fare yet we were happier then running in the woods and gathering nuts and thorn apples and hunting the sheep and cows - which thought such a task yet we were far happyer then than we can possibly make our selves now. and why is this I think it was because we had a kind Mother to bare all our troubles for us and we little knew what her troubles then were when I think how hard she used to work and how much she used to accomplish I fancy that I am almost a worthless mortal for my family is so small and my work so lite and yet it is never done. I sometimes fancy that my children are more trouble than other people's and I know that my children are sick the most of the time untill they are through teathing and that takes nearly all my time. I did not visit poor Nelly last fall and I had plenty of chances of doing so had my babe been well but that hindered my going - and I sometimes fear I shall never see any of my friends again but Jason said he would come for me whenever I wished - and I am agoing to write to him to come for me rite off and if he comes I am going to see Nelly ready or not and I do wish that you could be here and go along with me but wishing is of no use but I hope it will not be long before you will come and visit us. Ida is now six years old and she is becoming quite a help. she sends her love to Aunt Celina Hatty and the other Children and says she should like to see them I think she is becomeing quite good and smart to learn her book if Emily had stayed with me she could no have been a good scollar and a lady too but She thinks me to cross wel I am always cross but I am not quite as bad now as I then was. William is just as kind and good as ever but his business keeps him always from home and I am so lonely I sometimes fancy myself nothing less than a widow but then I have a good provider and I must not complain. Ida is sitting by my side she has on the dress that you gave her and it is nice as when knew it has been washed once. I will try and keep it nice for Hatty. I have had now later knews from home than Nelly's letter Which I send enclosed to you and now I hope you will favor me with an answer soon
[written in the borders] for I am very uneasy on your account, and I must write to Isaac yet
except a portion of my love - give a share to each of the children and remember me to your husband
© elf junction, ink.
